She Doesn’t Know She’s Beautiful

Sure, she may exude confidence.  She may strut and sway.  She may even laugh off other’s criticism as if it never hurts her…simply water off a duck’s back.  

But she doesn’t know

Her smile is sweet and alluring.  Her laugh is quicksand to your heart.  Her eyes may tell the true story, yet you barely get close enough to see.  At times she knows she needs it.  But pushing herself to be above this, she refuses to give it credence. Shoulders back and head up, her strength to go on in spite of, is a testament to her sex.  Yet ache it must and ache it does.

Because she doesn’t know

She keeps you busy with her actions, kindness exuding from her very being.  This way you will never know and never see.  Yet, at the same time, in that light she shines for others is a darkness in her, contained.  A suffocating silence if you don’t tell her.  A great ache if she isn’t shown.  She goes on in silent fortitude with all others never knowing, all others none the wiser.

All because she doesn’t know.

You have to tell her of what she has longed to know.  You have to show her of what she has never seen.  Don’t stop with once, or twice, or even thrice.  You must convince her to the moon and back….because she needs to know

She is Beautiful. 💕

Beautiful beyond description.  Beautiful to her core.  Beautiful in chaos and imperfection.  Beautiful as she is right now.  




I Got The Moves Like Jagger

Do you know what it takes to impress a woman?  Confidence.  No, not the fake shit, but real, bonafide confidence.  This is a definite must in a man.  Can I stress this enough?  Never.  Sure, there are types of men that can cry and share their feelings while achieving a pity fuck, but that’ll be a one time, rare event.  She’s gotta be pretty wasted and feeling very sorry for you.  (That’s not from experience…I’d leave your ass so fast your head would spin.  That is, after I called you a pussy.) 

 Please don’t try to school me in the beauty of intimacy and the male sex coming into a momentous time of being in touch with their feelings.  Just don’t.  It’s not beautiful, it’s not glorious; it’s just really annoying.  I don’t care if you need to cry…do it alone or tell another male friend.  Do not cry and share your deepest, intimate feelings with a woman.  Unless you want to be her best friend and share BFF heart necklaces and weave friendship bracelets while singing Journey songs and painting her fucking toenails.  Yes, of course, I forgot the best part: Never getting laid.  Once in the friend zone, you are never getting out, dude.  Minus a major paradigm shift in her thinking and a divine intervention by way of your changing completely, you will be her cute and sad, little male friend.  

Don’t get me wrong.  You can be friends, while also being the man she is in love with and has sex with.  There is a difference in sharing desires, certain feelings, dreams, etc., versus sharing the most intimate, sad, fearful, anxious, and seemingly feminine feelings.  Share some things, but never everything that you are thinking and feeling.  Keep that shit to yourself.  

Women like a bit of mystery.  We like intrigue, adventure, confidence, and a bit of a challenge.  A give and take, push and pull, if you will.  This is why you must learn the ways of a woman, better yet, YOUR woman.  What makes her look at you with interest and questions?  How does she react when you don’t complain?  When you man up, take responsibility and only speak with confidence?  It’s not only the omission of these negative affirming habits, but the addition of your “mojo”.  The swagger all men must have to attain and retain a woman.  I warn you, though.  We can smell a fake a mile away.  

You must study the art of the peacock.

To strut pompously with an air of insolence, of almost nonchalance, is not to be underestimated.  No, sir, this is the male at his finest.  This artistic display of himself for the enrapturing of her attention, her mind, her heart, her body.  Though it may fail in the beginning at times, it will win the heart of a woman sooner or later.  If done with ease and confidence, sooner will be the case. 
Learn true confidence and don’t forget to dress the part of the male crackerjack.  For to ooze confidence from every part of you, is to capture her eye, thereby arousing her curiosity.  Now don’t fuck it up! 

 If you’ve been on your swag game well enough and piqued her interest then she will be watching for signs that point to your actually being a little bitch.  Her curiosity will compel her to search, test and try for any show of weakness that would, most assuredly, result in her having to wipe your ass.  So, guys, be confident and find your swagger; don’t just talk, walk it.

Alas, as I mentioned earlier, after obtaining her attention, your job is not done.  A man with swagger must be able to back it up and prove himself worthy.  This is the hard part.  Does your confidence have durability?  Will your willpower, tenacity, valor, and bravery remain constant?  Can you problem solve, think on your feet, and control the direction of your life?  Or will you buckle and need to cry on her shoulder?  Will she need to pick up where you bowed out and put down?

Confidence will prove itself when in the depths of adversity.  Find yours, because true self-confidence makes a man who he’s supposed to be for himself, for others, and for her.

You must get to the point where not only are your words captivating, but your actions, even more so.  For to watch a man in his life is to know if his words are real and trustworthy.  Stop acting emasculated and be a man.  

Get your ass out there and find your swagger like Jagger.



You My Ladyboy

To The Ladyboy,

You were supposed to be stronger than me.  You should have been stronger than me.  Where is the man you pretended to be?  I thought I could depend on you but, instead, I end up wiping your tears AND your ass. You were scared and you told me.  You were afraid and you showed me.  You were jealous and you lashed out.  You lost confidence and I watched it all unfold.  At times, I have felt the full weight of our life on my shoulders.

Where is the man?  Who is this boy that pretended to be a man?  Don’t expect me to be willing to be the strength everytime you fail.  I have been your keeper when you decided to crumble.  I listened to your whining when you failed and held your hand when you tried to walk again.  I mopped up the failures and the disappointments, time and time again.  I have been your savior when you should have been mine.

Don’t expect it anymore.  I can’t do it again.  I’m tired and weak from holding us both up.  You claimed to be a man who I could lean on.  Where you could have done much, you did as little as possible.  When more was required, you folded.  When I tried to persuade and encourage, you gave excuses.  Don’t cry to me; I am weary of your cries.  

Be a man, for once.  Be what you promised.  Be who you boasted you were.  Be he who you so desire to be.  Stop your incessant sounds only a woman should make.  Stand on your own two feet and be the man I can lean on.  Surprise me and encourage yourself, for once.  Succeed and elevate yourself to a height that you surpass others.  Take confidence, not from me, but from inside yourself.  Be the giver, not the receiver.  When you fail, pick yourself up off the ground.  Look no longer to me to be your full support.  I will be your biggest fan and follower, but I will not be your crutch.  

I need a man, not a ladyboy.



You Want Me To Eat Your Cum?…Then Eat A Fucking Pineapple!


Eat it, drink the juice, suck on the prickly flesh or crunch up the leaves and make a tea…(Wait…I actually have no idea if the leaves are edible…so don’t do the tea thing…) I don’t care what you do with it! Just eat it. Total sincerity here.  No bullshiting. We will eat it….but there must be some sacrifice on your part, guys. (The Sex And The City episode on this was hilarious…just thought I’d mention that…) You may not think it matters, but last time I checked WE were the ones eating it…not you. Women like sweet-tasting semen. If you want us to continue…and I’m sure you do…then the solution is simple. We don’t ask for much. (Well, actually, I’m pretty high maintenance. But most women don’t ask for much. Hey, I play with it, swallow it, lick it from his stomach, and suck it off of my fingers like it’s Reddi-wip. Hell, I even eat it from a spoon. True story. So, high maintenance? Ding ding! But so completely worth it!)

If you’re like me, I can easily accrue an amazingly rare case of what they call a self-induced tension-type headache if exposed to a large amount of scientific jargon. I despise having to scroll through pages of research and monotonous mumbo-jumbo to find out the “put in your pocket and take home” solution.

So, in lieu of this I will get right to our point of interest. And I take the risk of oversimplifying this point, nevertheless: If you want yummy tasting cum she comes back for more of and remembers through all time: eat fruit.

For all those not suffering from ADD and still with me… research does indicate that if you aren’t going to get off on your lady gagging and hurling after tasting your cum then drink less alcohol, don’t do drugs, smoke about zero cigarettes, and lay off all the junk food. Also, ixnay on the asparagus or anyone related to the cabbage family…oh, and if you’re Italian this might pose a quandary, eat less onions and garlic. Vegetarians and vegans are known to have strongly preferable tasting cum to that of the meat-eaters. So maybe let the cows come home and then leave them alone. It’s an option…. yeah, probably not.

I know, you’re scratching your head now because those are pretty non happening situations. Alright, I thought that might pose a problem. So, to reiterate, the more agreeable answer is: eat fruit. More specifically, pineapple.

Oh yeah, this guy will be pleasantly watching her devour his jizz tonight. She’s totally plotting on his pineapple-mango cum cocktail. In my research I did find that the majority of women that have tried the taste of cum actually loathe it and have a hard time trying not to hurl afterwards. It was sad to read of the heroic tales ending in semen-eating disasters. And guys, true to point, most of the problems were due to the taste of it. With the few exceptions being the texture of it. The texture can be remedied by keeping hydrated. So drink lots of water.

This guy, well, if there is a she…then she really isn’t going to give a shit about the pineapple, dude. It’s just not gonna help….sorry.

Bottom line: If you and your cum are feeling spurned, discarded, and abandoned don’t walk about crestfallen. Pick your chin up and eat a pineapple.


Virtues of a real man.


He: So, I read an article today where a 22 year old man took cell phone pictures of him and his girlfriend as they were having sex. They apparently had a falling out. Afterwards, he proceeded to send the pictures out to contacts, including the girl’s mother and 14 year old brother. I have been thinking about it on and off since then as it really got stuck in my craw.

She: Okay, her family? That’s just wrong. Is he actually still alive? Because I would have put the beat-down on him. Well, I would’ve tried anyway.

He: This man-boy’s crime wasn’t the pictures, that is between him and his girl. His crime is a loathsome blend of modern virtues that hold everyone, including himself, in contempt. What would possess someone to send sexual pictures to a child or your girl’s mother?

She: Man-boy….that’s hilarious!  I know a lot of man-boys.  Too many, in fact, they’re everywhere.

He: It speaks volumes about the state of manhood in America today. With divorce at a crippling level, absentee fathers and single mothers, this is the fallout that we should have expected all along. When our men lose their masculinity and our women their femininity, the whole system falls apart. What this boy needed was a strong, kind, alpha male father at home to teach him how to treat women. Dollars to doughnuts says he didn’t have that at all.

In 1957, The Everly Brothers released a song titled “Wake Up Little Suzie”, maybe you know it, maybe you don’t. As I read about this charming man disrespecting and dishonoring his girlfriend, the lyrics to that song came to mind and I began to juxtapose the differences between then and now.

Wake up little Susie
Wake up little Susie
We gotta go home
Wake up, little Susie, wake up
Wake up, little Susie, wake up
The movie wasn’t so hot It didn’t have much of a plot
We fell asleep, our goose is cooked our reputation is shot
Wake up little Susie Wake up little Susie
Well What are we gonna tell your mama
What are we gonna tell your pa
What are we gonna tell our friends
When they say ooh-la-la

As you can see in the song, he was horrified at what their parents and friends would say about them staying out all night together. His first concern was their reputation and he didn’t want that to get tarnished by what had happened. Today, he not only would not have “fallen asleep” at the movies but would have had sex with her using techniques that he had learned watching porn and using a condom that he got at school and then finished the night by sharing pics and videos of his conquest with his buddies and school chums.

She: I couldn’t have said it better myself! So many young men are only seeking a cheap and easy fix.

He: What we have lost as men today is a simple cocktail of self-respect, honor and chivalry and we have to get it back starting right now.

To have self respect is to honor yourself, to hold who you are in esteem and to know that you deserve to be treated well.

A man with self respect will not beg, go on welfare or unemployment out of laziness or steal because he thinks more of himself than to do those things. He does not get his self esteem through cheap sexual conquests because he would gain nothing internally from that, he is too solid.

She: Guys, you will get about 2-18 minutes (C’mon, I know some of y’all think it’s longer…its not.) of less than satisfactory relations with these cheap conquests. My advice? (Since I know you want to hear it.) Find a woman you could adore and pursue more than her lower parts. She will love you and desire to please you. Through this will be fulfillment.

He: A woman with self respect will not just sleep with whoever is handy for a cheap thrill because she knows that she is more valuable than that. She holds who she is in a place that only the worthy can attain. When someone is worthy enough, she will lose her mind in bed for him but she will look at worthiness before simple availability.

She:. See? Lose her mind. That is what I was saying, guys! Do you want your 10 min of lame ass fame or a woman who will passionately lose her mind with you?? The cheap quickies will not suffice for long. We are worth your pursuit. Women, know you are worth his pursuing you! You are to subjectively know that he must earn you. That means you must evaluate yourself as such and place this demand upon him.

In ancient Japanese culture, one of the most highly regarded people and professions was the professional geisha. These women were trained in music, culture and sex from a very young age. They were respected and even venerated for their skills. They had boatloads of self respect even though they were really just singing prostitutes. 

Just because you are awakened sexually or you are having sex does not mean that you don’t have self respect, obviously. How cheaply you give it away however, does. 

She: Right. This isn’t to say abstinence is the peak of self-worth. Knowing who you are and placing value on yourself is key.

He: Honor is an ancient virtue that we must make individual decisions to reclaim in our honor-less world. Simply put, it means that when you hold yourself in honor, you protect your name, conduct, and personal heritage.

The Japanese samurai followed a code called Bushido (the way of the warrior). The code of Bushido includes veracity, politeness, courage, benevolence, justice, loyalty, and, above all, honor. Honor was the glue that held everything else together.

All of Bushido hinges on the concept of honor and without honor the other six are are no longer virtues but vices. Veracity without honor is being too truthful and causing real damage. Courage without honor can lead to harming ourselves or others unnecessarily. Loyalty without honor can lead us to follow blindly those who are harmful to us or to others.

To be honorable, one must decide what is the “right thing to do” and then do it. To be honorable one must demonstrate politeness, courage, benevolence, justice, loyalty, and veracity.

To walk in honor means doing what is right and manifesting the highest veneration for those you are dealing with. And honor is internal, no one can take it from you, you can only give it up yourself. The young man that showed those pictures dishonored himself by showing how little he held himself and his girlfriend in respect and dignity.

Chivalry goes hand in hand with both self respect and honor. To have chivalry means to have the qualities of a gentleman and offer courage, honor and protection to women, children and the elderly.

You have all seen the picture of the gallant gentleman who covered the mud puddle with his own coat so that a woman could walk across it without getting dirty, that’s chivalry. When a man places himself between an innocent person and danger, that’s chivalry. When a man treats his woman as if she is precious and above menial tasks like opening her own door or pulling her own seat out, that’s chivalry. When a man stands when a woman leaves the table, that’s chivalry. You get the picture?

She: I totally get the picture.  It’s just like Kate & Leopold!  (Love that movie, ladies!)  Women are so used to being treated as a buddy instead of a lady of honor.  In our current society we don’t even consider ourselves as being worth this kind of treatment.

He: Chivalry is not about being a chauvinist, just the opposite. A chivalrous man does not think that a woman is incapable of opening a door; he chooses to serve her because she is too important to open her own door. He holds her in high regard because she is of such great value to him.

She:  If boys would be men, this world would be a better place.  True story.

He: Today, we hold our manhood cheap and we hold our women in dishonor. And this world needs some real men again. And your woman would agree with me, believe me. We have too many locker room frat boys, too many emotionally needy whiny little boys, too many Archie Bunker creeps and too many sexual predators for them not to agree with me.

She: Take it from me, this generation of women long for men of honor again!  Can I hear an “Amen”, ladies?

He: But we can never reclaim who we are and truly become retrosexual men until we strive to embrace the qualities of self respect, honor and chivalry. So, make a decision to do just that. Start holding doors open for women and start teaching your sons to do the same. Pull her chair out for her, stand when she leaves the table. Deal with everyone according to honor for yourself, your name and their honor as well. And start to think of yourself in terms of worth, you have the value that you attribute to yourself.

From this day to the ending of the world, 
But we in it shall be remembered- 
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; 
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me 
Shall be my brother; be he ne’er so vile, 
This day shall gentle his condition; 
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed 
Shall think themselves accurs’d they were not here, 
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks 
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin’s day.