You Want Me To Eat Your Cum?…Then Eat A Fucking Pineapple!

image

Eat it, drink the juice, suck on the prickly flesh or crunch up the leaves and make a tea…(Wait…I actually have no idea if the leaves are edible…so don’t do the tea thing…) I don’t care what you do with it! Just eat it. Total sincerity here.  No bullshiting. We will eat it….but there must be some sacrifice on your part, guys. (The Sex And The City episode on this was hilarious…just thought I’d mention that…) You may not think it matters, but last time I checked WE were the ones eating it…not you. Women like sweet-tasting semen. If you want us to continue…and I’m sure you do…then the solution is simple. We don’t ask for much. (Well, actually, I’m pretty high maintenance. But most women don’t ask for much. Hey, I play with it, swallow it, lick it from his stomach, and suck it off of my fingers like it’s Reddi-wip. Hell, I even eat it from a spoon. True story. So, high maintenance? Ding ding! But so completely worth it!)

If you’re like me, I can easily accrue an amazingly rare case of what they call a self-induced tension-type headache if exposed to a large amount of scientific jargon. I despise having to scroll through pages of research and monotonous mumbo-jumbo to find out the “put in your pocket and take home” solution.

So, in lieu of this I will get right to our point of interest. And I take the risk of oversimplifying this point, nevertheless: If you want yummy tasting cum she comes back for more of and remembers through all time: eat fruit.
image

For all those not suffering from ADD and still with me… research does indicate that if you aren’t going to get off on your lady gagging and hurling after tasting your cum then drink less alcohol, don’t do drugs, smoke about zero cigarettes, and lay off all the junk food. Also, ixnay on the asparagus or anyone related to the cabbage family…oh, and if you’re Italian this might pose a quandary, eat less onions and garlic. Vegetarians and vegans are known to have strongly preferable tasting cum to that of the meat-eaters. So maybe let the cows come home and then leave them alone. It’s an option…. yeah, probably not.

I know, you’re scratching your head now because those are pretty non happening situations. Alright, I thought that might pose a problem. So, to reiterate, the more agreeable answer is: eat fruit. More specifically, pineapple.
image

Oh yeah, this guy will be pleasantly watching her devour his jizz tonight. She’s totally plotting on his pineapple-mango cum cocktail. In my research I did find that the majority of women that have tried the taste of cum actually loathe it and have a hard time trying not to hurl afterwards. It was sad to read of the heroic tales ending in semen-eating disasters. And guys, true to point, most of the problems were due to the taste of it. With the few exceptions being the texture of it. The texture can be remedied by keeping hydrated. So drink lots of water.
image

This guy, well, if there is a she…then she really isn’t going to give a shit about the pineapple, dude. It’s just not gonna help….sorry.

Bottom line: If you and your cum are feeling spurned, discarded, and abandoned don’t walk about crestfallen. Pick your chin up and eat a pineapple.

Sincerely,
She💋

Advertisements

One thought on “You Want Me To Eat Your Cum?…Then Eat A Fucking Pineapple!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s