To The Ladyboy,
You were supposed to be stronger than me. You should have been stronger than me. Where is the man you pretended to be? I thought I could depend on you but, instead, I end up wiping your tears AND your ass. You were scared and you told me. You were afraid and you showed me. You were jealous and you lashed out. You lost confidence and I watched it all unfold. At times, I have felt the full weight of our life on my shoulders.
Where is the man? Who is this boy that pretended to be a man? Don’t expect me to be willing to be the strength everytime you fail. I have been your keeper when you decided to crumble. I listened to your whining when you failed and held your hand when you tried to walk again. I mopped up the failures and the disappointments, time and time again. I have been your savior when you should have been mine.
Don’t expect it anymore. I can’t do it again. I’m tired and weak from holding us both up. You claimed to be a man who I could lean on. Where you could have done much, you did as little as possible. When more was required, you folded. When I tried to persuade and encourage, you gave excuses. Don’t cry to me; I am weary of your cries.
Be a man, for once. Be what you promised. Be who you boasted you were. Be he who you so desire to be. Stop your incessant sounds only a woman should make. Stand on your own two feet and be the man I can lean on. Surprise me and encourage yourself, for once. Succeed and elevate yourself to a height that you surpass others. Take confidence, not from me, but from inside yourself. Be the giver, not the receiver. When you fail, pick yourself up off the ground. Look no longer to me to be your full support. I will be your biggest fan and follower, but I will not be your crutch.
I need a man, not a ladyboy.