Like a persistent fool, it returns. For what? Does it think for a moment you will relent? Again and again it comes back to haunt and to poke and to prod. As if you would consent… Because what if you did? What then? How would your acquiescence adorn you? From here, it looks as if you will not wear it well. An ugliness is all you can see. Like a vice, it seems to seek only to entrap you in a bitter struggle to the death.
We all ache. Maybe yours has been ignored for far too long that it is minding itself in the quiet recesses of your heart. That place of darkness that houses the broken promises, deep intimate desires, hopes lost, times wasted, and the ache that used to remind you that you live. That ache, we all have, though bound and gagged it may be. The ache that used to be more real than your heartbeat. The ache that your delusional self thought possible. You have learned now, though. You have trained its de-evolution quite well and have attained its submission. It is now a dulled and forgotten wish amongst the others. It knows its place well now and rarely attempts to surface.
Ah, but how are you now? Settled? At peace? Content to go on each day as if it were an adventure? Relegated to your own cute and dainty spot on society’s moral pew? Wonderfully sedated by the blue pill?
Oppressed and suppressed by your own fear, you shirk under this pressure to stay in world filled with complacency and resignation. Destroyed slowly by the steady series of breakings, your trust has now become full blown distrust. And this determined distrust is your aide and best friend in a cold world of monotony and delusion. That ache is a heavy burden to bear and you cannot bear it anymore. It refused to back down and you had to decide. So decide, you did. And now you worry not for things that could be, but exist only on that which you have convinced yourself will only ever be.
But what if you could grant this ache its demand? What if you could find what it is that would fill you with a pleasure that satiated said ache? Is life worth living if it consists solely on survival? On pacification? On conformance and a sad hiding from truth?
What is your ache? What is it that you have settled for that disallows the chase of your heart into adventure? What holds the key to these dark places that we hold so dear, yet so far from anything we allow others to see? What is that which you have denied yourself for too long? Is it a business venture? An art form? A sexual side? Whatever it may be, it is you. The part of you that all should celebrate, yet too few actually care.
If you have quieted your ache, let it speak. If you have ignored it, stop and listen again. Don’t you know that I have, too? We all have. Some rise above their fears and attain a place of true living. Some refuse to allow their resignation to a life of anything less than grandiose fulfillment. Some have the strength to break in order to eventually heal and rebuild. Let’s take their lead and follow the ache to new places we know we were meant to be. Because the only other option is a bitter regret for what could have been and never was.
Whatever your ache is…
It is there to show you your purpose, your real life, your heart. Refuse the fear of failure and step out. Don’t allow what others have done to you to silence your ache. Don’t hide it away to only discover it again when it is too late. Don’t settle for a life that serves merely to remind you daily what you are missing. Stop your futile attempts at trying to live while you deny the only reason TO live. For without passion for one’s heart cry, we all cease to be human and to know true humanity’s reason to live.
Find your ache again.
And this time, pursue its fulfillment until you reach that which will allow you to breathe again. And in this ache, in this ache alone, will you truly find what it is to live.