Virtues of a real man.


He: So, I read an article today where a 22 year old man took cell phone pictures of him and his girlfriend as they were having sex. They apparently had a falling out. Afterwards, he proceeded to send the pictures out to contacts, including the girl’s mother and 14 year old brother. I have been thinking about it on and off since then as it really got stuck in my craw.

She: Okay, her family? That’s just wrong. Is he actually still alive? Because I would have put the beat-down on him. Well, I would’ve tried anyway.

He: This man-boy’s crime wasn’t the pictures, that is between him and his girl. His crime is a loathsome blend of modern virtues that hold everyone, including himself, in contempt. What would possess someone to send sexual pictures to a child or your girl’s mother?

She: Man-boy….that’s hilarious!  I know a lot of man-boys.  Too many, in fact, they’re everywhere.

He: It speaks volumes about the state of manhood in America today. With divorce at a crippling level, absentee fathers and single mothers, this is the fallout that we should have expected all along. When our men lose their masculinity and our women their femininity, the whole system falls apart. What this boy needed was a strong, kind, alpha male father at home to teach him how to treat women. Dollars to doughnuts says he didn’t have that at all.

In 1957, The Everly Brothers released a song titled “Wake Up Little Suzie”, maybe you know it, maybe you don’t. As I read about this charming man disrespecting and dishonoring his girlfriend, the lyrics to that song came to mind and I began to juxtapose the differences between then and now.

Wake up little Susie
Wake up little Susie
We gotta go home
Wake up, little Susie, wake up
Wake up, little Susie, wake up
The movie wasn’t so hot It didn’t have much of a plot
We fell asleep, our goose is cooked our reputation is shot
Wake up little Susie Wake up little Susie
Well What are we gonna tell your mama
What are we gonna tell your pa
What are we gonna tell our friends
When they say ooh-la-la

As you can see in the song, he was horrified at what their parents and friends would say about them staying out all night together. His first concern was their reputation and he didn’t want that to get tarnished by what had happened. Today, he not only would not have “fallen asleep” at the movies but would have had sex with her using techniques that he had learned watching porn and using a condom that he got at school and then finished the night by sharing pics and videos of his conquest with his buddies and school chums.

She: I couldn’t have said it better myself! So many young men are only seeking a cheap and easy fix.

He: What we have lost as men today is a simple cocktail of self-respect, honor and chivalry and we have to get it back starting right now.

To have self respect is to honor yourself, to hold who you are in esteem and to know that you deserve to be treated well.

A man with self respect will not beg, go on welfare or unemployment out of laziness or steal because he thinks more of himself than to do those things. He does not get his self esteem through cheap sexual conquests because he would gain nothing internally from that, he is too solid.

She: Guys, you will get about 2-18 minutes (C’mon, I know some of y’all think it’s longer…its not.) of less than satisfactory relations with these cheap conquests. My advice? (Since I know you want to hear it.) Find a woman you could adore and pursue more than her lower parts. She will love you and desire to please you. Through this will be fulfillment.

He: A woman with self respect will not just sleep with whoever is handy for a cheap thrill because she knows that she is more valuable than that. She holds who she is in a place that only the worthy can attain. When someone is worthy enough, she will lose her mind in bed for him but she will look at worthiness before simple availability.

She:. See? Lose her mind. That is what I was saying, guys! Do you want your 10 min of lame ass fame or a woman who will passionately lose her mind with you?? The cheap quickies will not suffice for long. We are worth your pursuit. Women, know you are worth his pursuing you! You are to subjectively know that he must earn you. That means you must evaluate yourself as such and place this demand upon him.

In ancient Japanese culture, one of the most highly regarded people and professions was the professional geisha. These women were trained in music, culture and sex from a very young age. They were respected and even venerated for their skills. They had boatloads of self respect even though they were really just singing prostitutes. 

Just because you are awakened sexually or you are having sex does not mean that you don’t have self respect, obviously. How cheaply you give it away however, does. 

She: Right. This isn’t to say abstinence is the peak of self-worth. Knowing who you are and placing value on yourself is key.

He: Honor is an ancient virtue that we must make individual decisions to reclaim in our honor-less world. Simply put, it means that when you hold yourself in honor, you protect your name, conduct, and personal heritage.

The Japanese samurai followed a code called Bushido (the way of the warrior). The code of Bushido includes veracity, politeness, courage, benevolence, justice, loyalty, and, above all, honor. Honor was the glue that held everything else together.

All of Bushido hinges on the concept of honor and without honor the other six are are no longer virtues but vices. Veracity without honor is being too truthful and causing real damage. Courage without honor can lead to harming ourselves or others unnecessarily. Loyalty without honor can lead us to follow blindly those who are harmful to us or to others.

To be honorable, one must decide what is the “right thing to do” and then do it. To be honorable one must demonstrate politeness, courage, benevolence, justice, loyalty, and veracity.

To walk in honor means doing what is right and manifesting the highest veneration for those you are dealing with. And honor is internal, no one can take it from you, you can only give it up yourself. The young man that showed those pictures dishonored himself by showing how little he held himself and his girlfriend in respect and dignity.

Chivalry goes hand in hand with both self respect and honor. To have chivalry means to have the qualities of a gentleman and offer courage, honor and protection to women, children and the elderly.

You have all seen the picture of the gallant gentleman who covered the mud puddle with his own coat so that a woman could walk across it without getting dirty, that’s chivalry. When a man places himself between an innocent person and danger, that’s chivalry. When a man treats his woman as if she is precious and above menial tasks like opening her own door or pulling her own seat out, that’s chivalry. When a man stands when a woman leaves the table, that’s chivalry. You get the picture?

She: I totally get the picture.  It’s just like Kate & Leopold!  (Love that movie, ladies!)  Women are so used to being treated as a buddy instead of a lady of honor.  In our current society we don’t even consider ourselves as being worth this kind of treatment.

He: Chivalry is not about being a chauvinist, just the opposite. A chivalrous man does not think that a woman is incapable of opening a door; he chooses to serve her because she is too important to open her own door. He holds her in high regard because she is of such great value to him.

She:  If boys would be men, this world would be a better place.  True story.

He: Today, we hold our manhood cheap and we hold our women in dishonor. And this world needs some real men again. And your woman would agree with me, believe me. We have too many locker room frat boys, too many emotionally needy whiny little boys, too many Archie Bunker creeps and too many sexual predators for them not to agree with me.

She: Take it from me, this generation of women long for men of honor again!  Can I hear an “Amen”, ladies?

He: But we can never reclaim who we are and truly become retrosexual men until we strive to embrace the qualities of self respect, honor and chivalry. So, make a decision to do just that. Start holding doors open for women and start teaching your sons to do the same. Pull her chair out for her, stand when she leaves the table. Deal with everyone according to honor for yourself, your name and their honor as well. And start to think of yourself in terms of worth, you have the value that you attribute to yourself.

From this day to the ending of the world, 
But we in it shall be remembered- 
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; 
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me 
Shall be my brother; be he ne’er so vile, 
This day shall gentle his condition; 
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed 
Shall think themselves accurs’d they were not here, 
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks 
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin’s day.


2 thoughts on “Virtues of a real man.

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