See, hear, smell, taste, and touch.
All five senses should be fully engaged during sex and throughout the day. Some of you may experience one or a few of these, but you must learn to incorporate all five as much as is possible. Why is this important? We are sensual creatures. We have a propensity towards any triggering of any one of the senses. Each of these is a realm of awakening that can be attained if there is an awareness of the need for it, and the information on how to include and implement them. Your orgasm alone is not enough. Sex can be so much more fulfilling if you have taken an erotic, sensual journey to get there. How much more does an orgasm satisfy you internally if there are core needs fulfilled along the way? Yes, we can reach an orgasm via the vanilla way. We can hurry and miss the ecstasy that sensual fulfillment can bring. Or we can slow down and plan the experience ahead of time, ensuring the sensual needs are sated to the utmost degree. A sensual satiation will deeply suffice. Whereas merely cumming will leave you dissatisfied almost immediately afterwards. To this I advise a rediscovery of what it is that makes us sensual creatures at our core.
We will start with the sense of sight.
This is imperative, yet not more so than another. To engage this sense, we must determine what our partner needs to see. By ‘needs’, I refer to their core. What seemingly minute quirks do they enjoy? For instance, the sight of a formal watch on a man triggers something psychological in me. This coupled with a suit or shirt and tie will arouse me to my core. This may seem insignificant, but I assure you, it is not. There are many tiny details that make us who we are and define our sexual patterns. These are what you have to determine. Find these things that make your partner tick. It will be a variety of sights.
A man can floor a woman with his boyishly charming smile or the gleam in his eye when he looks at her. I, also, love the sight of a large chest and arms on a man. When he wears a manly pair of jeans that hug his ass and you can see the muscles through his shirt. Not chiseled abs, but a manly, meaty, strong man. Droplets of sweat dripping down his neck and chest after extensive physical labor…preferably wielding an axe. (See: The Lumberjack Fantasy). The sight of men in physical combat is also temptingly sexual for me, probably due to my attraction to alphas. The exercising of control in the workplace is highly exciting for me and is about seeing dominance. For each woman, it will be a bit different, as it will be with the men.
Some of the things that stir us will be seemingly nonsexual, however they will lead us to a primal desire for intimacy. When a man has a fatherly nature, plays with his children and is protective. If he fixes the car or carries all the groceries. These are all going to stir a woman to her core.
For a man, there are many sight-related arousals to get into. (I smile when I say that.) Men, you are very visual, as well. And I believe that is a good thing. We, as women, can raise a shoulder, tilt our chin down, look up demurely and bat an eyelash…done. Then let one strap gently slide off the shoulder. At that point, you, as men, don’t have a chance in hell. It is our irresistibly seductive, feminine wiles at work. And don’t act like you don’t love it. We can cook naked, leave panties off for the day, spread a little gloss on the lips, read a book wearing just his shirt, etc. For some men, it will be a woman in a baseball cap, for others it will be when she wears an apron, or thigh highs and heels. It is seemingly small things we don’t always consider, that make a big difference. It can be easy to get into a monotonous daily pattern where we tend to forget about the details of real life and its greatest pleasures.
There are also many things unrelated to his/her person that can be stirring. For me, even the female body will arouse. I think women are strong and beautiful, which is titillating. What about if you’re walking in a beautiful spot with the sun streaming through the trees? Or a romantic walk along the beach? It makes me want to explore that moment intimately. Small town bars and even those sexy restrooms where there is an attendant will arouse me. (But I have a hankering for sex in public places…)
Leading up to sex, many things should have already occurred to be the foreplay. During sex, there are several sights to incorporate and enhance the experience. For instance, I like the ambiance of a room with low lighting and candles, a four poster bed (for the bondage, of course), and a thunderous look in his eye. There are ways to set up a scene or fantasy that will satisfy each other. Maybe he likes the naughty school girl look, so you dress the part and buy him a paddle. Maybe she wants a very sexy fireman to make her squirt from her deep spot. But both have to give and take.
The need for us as individuals and couples to introspect and find our predominant sexual cravings is of the greatest importance to keeping a healthy relationship. They are fundamentally true and will never relent. To repress our own needs will lead to greater issues. And to ignore your partner’s sensual needs will result in either a parting or a suppression that leads to bitterness. This is about the discovery and service of each other, resulting in a rhythmic cadence of fulfillment.
To prey upon the thirsty yearnings of the eye, which stirs your partner at their core, will lead to an intensely erotic, passionately driven, and healthy sex life.
To see is not even with the eyes, per se. All of what we see is determined on how we see. And how we see is what makes us each unique. ‘Beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ and we each have a beauty all our own.