Oversexed: Excessive sexual desires, marked by or tending to arouse sexual desire or interest, wanting sex more than what is considered normal.
Excuse me, what the hell is normal? Twice a week? Once a day? I know married couples that have sex twice a month! Fuck that! Since when did oversexed become a word, anyway? I’d love to meet the fool panel that shared a brain to come up with that piece of work adjective. I bet the bedroom scenes, in those whitewashed tombs they call homes, are a real fireworks display of intense sexual passion!
So, if my need (Yes, carefully calculated verbiage in the word: need.) is greater than your need and you fail to understand my level of need, does this mean my level of need is excessive? The arrogant pomposity of those, grandstanding on their definition of the adequate degree of sexuality. Who are they? How have we allowed their suffocating terms and unspoken rules to regulate who we are and what we do? Why are they the self-appointed creators of our predispositions to morality? They sit on their high horses dictating the moral compass of our society and we just fall in line? I’m not a hippie, but I say it’s time for a sexual revolution. A coup d’etat of these that have held sway over our beliefs for far too long.
As a society that has gained it’s convictions via the Victorian era…may we now progress, please, to a greater understanding of women’s desires and their need to fulfill them? I wager that the level of passion in a woman is so deeply misinterpreted due to not understanding the power of societal pressure to repress and conform. We are, as women, told how to think, believe, speak, and act out. Dance, monkey, dance.
Granted, not all women have been awakened to a state of high sexual appetite. For those of us who have been awakened and yearn for more…we will not be shamed into keeping quiet. You there, sitting on your righteous high tower under that pretty, little, delusional mask of yours….note this: Condescend and call us what you will; enduring, pride and self-concept intact, we will hold our heads up and progress. We are women who love sex, unashamedly and unapologetically.
Many people (sadly, many are women) feel more righteous if they are engaging in what is termed: slut shaming. Slut shaming is a social stigma, criticising a woman for her real or perceived sexual activity that they judge, according to traditional expectations, to be in violation. It could be how she is dressed, whether she uses a form of birth control, whether she engages in premarital sex, etc. Well, who have we adopted this stigma from? How did we come to own these traditions? In 1894, Ruth Smythers wrote a book called, SexTips for Husbands and Wives from 1894; giving advice to newly married couples. Here are some of those tips:
- “THE wise bride will permit a maximum of two brief sexual experiences weekly — and as time goes by she should make every effort to reduce this frequency. Feigned illness, sleepiness and headaches are among her best friends in this matter.”
- “A SELFISH and sensual husband can easily take advantage of his wife. One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: Give little, give seldom and above all give grudgingly. Otherwise what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of sexual lust.”
- “A WISE wife will make it her goal never to allow her husband to see her unclothed body, and never allow him to display his unclothed body to her.”
- “MANY women have found it useful to have thick cotton nightgowns for themselves and pajamas for their husbands — they need not be removed during the sex act. Thus, a minimum of flesh is exposed.”
- “WHEN he finds her, she should lie as still as possible. Bodily motion could be interpreted as sexual excitement by the optimistic husband. Sex, when it cannot be prevented, should be practiced only in total darkness.”
- “IF he attempts to kiss her on the lips she should turn her head slightly so that the kiss falls harmlessly on her cheek instead. If he lifts her gown and attempts to kiss her any place else she should quickly pull the gown back in place, spring from the bed, and announce that nature calls her to the toilet.”
- “ARGUMENTS, nagging, scolding and bickering prove very effective if used in the late evening about an hour before the husband would normally commence his seduction.
So, obviously the mindset of the day then was that women were never to allow themselves the enjoyment of sexual practices. If they did show this thrill of sex, they were slut shamed. Men were known to have high sex drive while doctors, at this time, were taught that women had no sex drive and if she was showing such, they were taught it was a disease. A disease that could only be cured by removing her sex organs. True story.
So, as many blame puritanical beliefs and customs, I believe the Puritans were very sexually repressed, yet acted out behind closed doors. (Reference to Richard Godbeer’s book: Sexual Revolution in Early America.) Yet, during and after the Victorian era, we see not only repression of emotions privately and publicly, but also suppression of any information dealing with sex, as well as oppression from powerful and effective societal pressures. What is amazing to me is that most of what they taught is still ingrained in our moral fabric. How many of you could closely identify with at least one, if not all, of those beliefs of the Victorian era that were held to high esteem?
Unlike our gray-asexual counterparts, we “oversexed” women are ready to be known and celebrated for who we are as sexual deviants. We revel in our sexual desires and fantasies. We refuse to back down or back off. There should be no receiving outlet for the malarkey spewed from the mouths of those unfortunately unawakened men and women.
So, to those that are with me in our sexually impassioned pursuits: Reject the zeitgeist and dare to live life to the fullest. Embrace your sexuality and never apologize for this beautiful, self-expressive journey you walk. Learn more, love much, experience everything, and live without regret.
Then, maybe, just maybe… together, we will start a revolution.
Oversexed persons of the world, unite!