Bareback Buttermilk Brownies

There are many ways to seduce a man.  (I’m doing three right now.)  One of the ways that I enjoy immensely, is feeding him.  Yes, ladies, this can be the way most effective if he loves food..and what male have you met that doesn’t?   Make him something he adores and you will be in the position to provoke other appetites for eating… if ya know what I mean.;)  Men love the more conventional ideas we use to lure them to us: burgers, beer, apple pie, and more beer.  These are fine, but let us branch out a bit to a wide range of seductive foods sure to awake him out of manly stupor and into a love affair with you and your gorgeous titties.  Here is one of those tantalizing recipe ideas.
Drumroll, please…

Seriously, where’s the fucking drumroll?? 

Whatever.

I introduce to you a sweet and decadent cake of brownies.. cake-brownies…brownie-cakes…okay…I have to say: This is a confusing, YET very worthwhile recipe.  It is called Buttermilk Brownies…however, they have never looked like brownies I’ve ever seen before.  (No, I didn’t fuck them up!)  So it’s a fuckin’ cake; but we will call said recipe as it is so inaptly put: Buttermilk Brownies.  These have been proven to lead him into gastronomic ecstasy so real and intense that he won’t do any of that asking or preparing shit; he’ll just jump on and ride you bareback.  Believe me; he will thank-fuck you.  Yes, they’re that good.
These lovely and scrumptious cake-brownies are sure to get him “in the mood”…so strap on a saddle, babe, cuz daddy’s gonna want a ride.  (Never mind, it wouldn’t be bareback then…forget the saddle.)*

*zero of these claims to surefire sexual attraction can be backed with scientific evidence, but chocolate is known to be an aphrodisiac.  There are two chemical properties in chocolate that make up it’s aphrodisiacal qualities: serotonin and phenylethylamine.  Serotonin is a chemical found in the brain, a “happy hormone”,  proven to create sexual arousal.  Phenylethylamine is a natural chemical found in the brain, otherwise known as “the love drug”, and stimulates the feeling of love… What’s interesting is that absolutely none of this is applicable seeing as how we’re using old dusty cocoa powder, not real chocolate… I just thought it was great information.

So, ladies, if he still just falls asleep afterwards then at least you have a half pan of cake-like brownies to yourself.  Add Sex and the City and a bottle of wine…that’s still a good night; I don’t care who you are.

Buttermilk Brownies

2 cups of flour

2 cups of sugar

5 tsp unsweetened cocoa 

1 cup water

1/2 cup butter

1 tsp baking soda

1/2 cup buttermilk..(I actually never buy buttermilk.  I add 1/2 tbsp of vinegar to every 1/2 cup of milk and let sit 10 min.  Walla… buttermilk.  That’s always how the granny did it.)

2 eggs

_________

For the Frosting:

1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa

1/3 cup buttermilk

1/2 cup butter

4 1/2 cups powdered sugar

1 tsp vanilla


For the cake: Grease 13×9 inch pan.  In large bowl, combine flour, sugar, and the 5 tsps of cocoa.  In saucepan, combine water and 1/2 cup butter– bring to a boil and pour over flour mix.  Beat low till blended, high till smooth.  Add soda, 1/2 cup buttermilk, and eggs.  Blend all–pour into pan.

Bake 20-25 min at 375°F.  Do not overcook.  (I do warn you that they will be undercooked in the middle.  If you are like me..you like them undercooked and the slightly jiggly center..so take it out when the edges are done and the middle is less done…got it??)  


For the Frosting: Bring to boil, the cocoa, buttermilk, and butter over medium heat.  Remove from heat.  Add the powdered sugar and vanilla.  Spread most of it over warm cake-brownies…then slowly and carefully insert remaining frosting by large rubber spatula into your mouth.  (You can thank me for that one later.;))

Then serve them to your man, sit back, and let the magic happen.  These cake-brownie, brownie-cakes are a beautiful thing…

Sincerely,

She💋

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