Ahhh…here it is at last. That which enables us to separate the men from the boys. The horsemen torn asunder from the footmen. The cock detaching itself from the cockerels. The alpha taking his place and rising above the beta. Yes, this is that which endowed Hemingway and completely passed over Fitzgerald. (Ok, Fitzgerald fans…settle down…I am referring to the man, not his work… although, the work probably does define the man, doesn’t it?…)
It it the quintessential man, is it not? This pose of great adventure, tumultuous and daring times, fated accomplishments, and inevitable sexual exploits. The male’s modus operandi.
He stands above the rest. He exudes masculinity. He is man. (Don’t get me wrong, an alpha male in a suit…oh take me home and do dirty, dirty things to me…but that’s another article. This is my Lumberjack fantasy. Pay attention.)
I mean, come on, he is primal. Wielding only an axe, he takes on giant oaks whilst wearing just manly jeans and steel-toed boots. His muscles defiantly daring weakness to set in. Lifting wood to new heights, unforeseen by those of the beta world. Oh to be said log…my heart doth cry out… Unafraid, he challenges the laws of gravitational pull with merely his strength and two pin-pointed notches. His unsurpassed intelligence, his genius the glue that holds all the rest in place. The vitality and vigor that he displays, oozing from his every pore. My, what a phenomenal job he does.
Not to mention, he redefines perspiration. It is no longer simply sweat, ladies. Oh no. This is now the magnificent process of the exertion of a the male physique at it’s finest, to the point of this heated blood-pumping body having to cool itself down. This is water-rich secretion of the glands. Sweat? Shame on you. This is ecstasy.
How much more can we say of the way of the Lumberjack? He IS sex. At the risk of diminishing the beauty of literary quotes….forgive me, I must make one my own.
“He was no longer the Lumberjack, but a visionary essence of man–a whole sex condensed into one typical form.” (For all you literature illiterates…that was Thomas Hardy’s genius tweaked to suit my fancy. Read his books…less stupid is never bad, people.)
Pure and unrefined raw material. Sex in a nut sack…I mean, nutshell…. The seed of a beast able to impregnate female prey merely upon entering. A breeding phenomenon with every heave. To be so powerful, so confident, so very capable to shame the simplicity that word can imply; is to be the very essence of all that encapsulates this fantasy.
Wow…I need to move on…this may go the way of the strumpet in a moment and I’ll have to go find me a lumberjack…
Why do we yearn for this particular form of male species? Why the fantastical craving of man in his more primal state? Why the rejection of those more suited to a tea party? We, as women, are most attractive at our most feminine state. We are most irresistible when fully woman. So, then, why all the gender coalescing? Why do we all have to look the same and act the same? Why can’t a dude just be a dude? Is there something wrong with a woman who is sensual, feminine, and knows where her power lies? I’ll have to wager that it is the work of society to bring about egalitarianism. In other words, there are those who would have men act as women while women act as men in order to balance the sexes, bringing about equality of potential and the decline of the unique characteristics that we each hold at our core.
Is my unrelenting craving, my irresistible desire a rare marvel? Am I alone in this fantasy? No. (I believe we have coined the term Lumbersexuals…no, I’m not kidding.) Many women crave these fantastically opposing genetic differences. This is what enables us to feel the fullness of our own femininity. The more masculine he is; the more feminine we are able to be. It is where we find our liberty, freeing us to be who we truly want and need to be. It is then not a fleeting fluke, but a core need of those women like moi.
Don’t get me wrong. I won’t discount a beta (Well, I will discount him for me personally.). I do definitely believe there are many women who would rather be with a man who she has to fight for bathroom usage and looks better in her underwear than she does. Yes, betas can be masculine, strong, courageous and sexy, too, just in a much less dominant way. There does have to be acceptance of who you are and also a need to be more true than ever to that which you’ve found to define you. So, if a beta, than embrace it. You may lose to an alpha…as so goes nature…however you will be content because this is the way of the beta. You’re not less male…just less dominant…a bit more relenting, if you will. (I am trying to be nice! Sorry, if you’re a beta, this is probably not the article you should be reading…as a matter of fact, why are you still reading this?!)
Women like myself are all too selfish in our pursuit of this fine specimen of dominating power, this Lumberjack of oh so wonderfully defined proportions, this force of being that allows us the beauty of our womanhood. Is there hope for this search? Will we find any alphas that are worthy of us? Are there any out there to be had or are we left with a unisex beta world where we grope around as the blind trying to find someone stronger than we are? (Reference to Amy Winehouse’s song, “Stronger Than Me”…if you didn’t catch that…it’s pretty much my life anthem.) I contend that there are. Rare they may be, but I have found them. Do not rest until you find yours.
Happy Lumberjack hunting!