Panties Or No Panties?…This Is The Question

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Yes, this is a relevant question!  How dare you think otherwise?!  Of course, this isn’t going to end world hunger or unite the Church or even make your mother-in-law tolerable; but it will set in motion a beautiful evolutionary cycle involving selfless acts of kindness.

Too far? Au contraire, my hard-boiled friends.

This process of evolvement begins with a single benevolent deed. That deed can be, if you so choose, not wearing panties. (Otherwise, you could just pay for the lonely chap’s meal behind you in the fast-food queue. But that would have very altered consequences completely irrelevant to our cause here…albeit, very generous indeed….moving on….)

Today, as you carried on the torch of life, did it occur to you at all to spice up your love life with an “out of your box” scheme? Some notion so avant-garde that it will be sure to shock your man into “buck in rut” mode. Yes? No? Ah, well it doesn’t really matter. I’m here to aide in this by giving you your unconventional idea.

Ditch the panties.

Do they really have a germane point anyway?

It’s a liberating feeling, ladies. However, I must preface the panty ditching with the none-too-obvious warning of: Please be sure to wax, shave, pluck, Nair (Does anybody use that anymore? Did anyone ever use it??) or whatever it is you do.

Warning: Proceed no further without the pubic hair removal taken care of. Thank you.

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This small, yet significant deed will, most assuredly, begin a movement that will change the world. I did just watch the documentary film I AM by Tom Shadyac…hence my waxing deep and sentimental. Proof positive that it is completely true! Besides, everyone knows Newton’s Law. Even your provocative act of skipping the panties will have an equally forceful (Oh that just turned me on a little bit…force it baby… mmmm) reaction that will set in motion a positive chain of events because your man will be pleasantly shocked and oh so very satiated. Which in turn will mean that he goes to work in a chipper mood…which means no road rage taken out on the helpless foreigner…the boss man will notice the good cheer and note the positive work ethic resulting in an eventual pay raise… he’ll buy lunch for all his less satisfied male counterparts…flee work early because he finished everything and come home with a bouquet of flowers resulting in yet again, a night of amazing sex, forming a gorgeously happy day for tomorrow…..

I know. It’s pushing it a bit…but work with me…this is science, people.

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Of course, you’ve heard of the chaos theory, or better known as the butterfly effect. It is the science of surprises; the expectation of the unexpected. A butterfly flaps its wings in the Amazonian jungle, and subsequently a storm ravages half of Europe. See? It’s science. Your sexy kind-hearted gesture will be the flapping of the butterfly’s wings. How beautiful is that??

Just do it. Be sinful and take them off for a day at least. I do it all the time and it makes you feel instantly and easily accessible. Just make sure he knows by text or a cute little show of their absence before he goes to work. Wear a dress and I will almost bet the farm that he will take you to dinner and then to Spankytown. (Where I visit as often as I can…they even have a happy hour!)

He will love it! All the while, you can sit back and relish the thought that you are a humanitarian at heart and actually contributing to global happiness. Good for you.

Sincerely,
She💋

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