Isn’t she gorgeous? I mean, we all know that boney is the new beautiful. What?! I can’t even tell what the heck she’s modeling because I can’t stop wondering who stole her thighs! And the ribs?! Really?! Where did they get this chick?! It looks like they just plucked her right out of a concentration camp and stuck a pair of heels on her!!
Isn’t she a thinspiration? No, really, that’s a word! Girls, called “thinspos” will look at pictures like this one and get their thinspiration to be even skinnier and to lose weight that they cannot afford to lose. Can you believe we have allowed Hollywood and the fashion industry to dictate to us and our daughters how to look and what is accepted as “perfect”?
But, isn’t this where all of us as women will end up if we continue to listen to the world’s propaganda? When is it ever skinny enough? Tight enough? Fake enough? Perfect enough? When does the psychosis ever end? It doesn’t. Ever. That’s how you end up with women who have had multiple plastic surgeries and have become addicted. Because they went in with one thing they wanted to change and were faced with some other body part that wasn’t good enough. And the cycle continues.
We are told by the fashion industry that men want a super skinny, emaciated size 0 for a woman. It’s just not true. In a recent survey, 80% of men said they wanted a curvacious and voluptuous woman, 15% wanted an averaged sized woman, and only 5% said they wanted a super skinny woman. I can tell most of you don’t believe me! All you can see is your “thunder thighs” and “baby belly”. And you cannot understand how he would find that attractive.
It’s unfortunate what we find pleasing to the touch and pleasing to the eye is seldom the same.
Alright, ladies, listen up! I have a little story to tell you. I have to warn you though….it involves death.
My flawless, unmarred, indefectible, out-of-this-world, utopian, flat- bellied self is long gone! Loooong gone. She died, even. But that’s okay. You know why? Because I am a WOMAN! A true, honest to goodness, all natural woman!
(Yes, these bitches are real. Well, assisted by chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream….but that’s natural!)
I used to work out a lot to try to rid myself of the extra handfuls, if you know what I mean. All because I thought that’s what my husband found attractive. You know, not a body-builder; but nice and tight. (I always hated when certain areas continued to move…after I had stopped moving!)
He would always tell me I was beautiful, but I never believed he actually thought that. Then I gained a little (I admit it was completely involuntary) and he started really liking the extra boom-boom I had! It came as a complete shock. It took quite a bit to convince myself that he really did like it. As I allowed myself to believe him….I started to be completely comfortable in my own skin. It was so liberating! The things I used to be self-conscious about, he really loved. (And couldn’t keep his hands off of! )
Although I do lead an active lifestyle and keep in shape; I do it for different reasons now. “In shape” meaning I am a woman who lives her life unashamedly, in full, and will make no apologies for who I am and what I do. “In shape” meaning I will run almost daily but not to conform to an unnatural body image. (Yes, almost daily. Don’t judge me. Some days procrastination is at work.) “In shape” meaning I will be happy and healthy while active and pursuing my desires.
So what am I saying? I’m saying that we are perfectly and pointedly flawed. Each one of us is a little different, but beautiful in our own way. Embrace all that makes you who you are. Your scar from the cesareans is endearing to your husband…you know why? Because you gave him wonderful children from it. And the sun spots on your face which they say can be removed from “just the right cream!”; well, I say keep them. Why? Because real people have them from spending priceless moments outside with their beloved families! (And yes, I love the sun so I rebelled and left the sunscreen at home.)
Oh, and don’t forget the bags! Yes, the bags under our eyes, ladies! Those are from the years of real life hardships…the kind that make a person have interesting layers of unique telling. (Kind of like an onion.) The depth of a woman is told in her ability to shun the pressure to hide, mask, and deny those small and beautiful quirks of fate.
See? Your “flaws” are your story. In fact, they are your testimony. Your testimony to how courage and love have brought you through every trial and every hardship. We all have flaws and scars. The question is how will you deal with them? Will you cover all of them or rid yourself of them so everyone will think you are perfect? Because in the end…no one is fooled.
Forget trying to change yourself into what the current mainstream societal “Salon” considers perfect. Know that people who see those “imperfections” and not who you truly are aren’t worth your time or energy anyway. For your husband, believe him when he says you are beautiful to him just the way you are. He’s telling the truth. It may take awhile but you will believe him in time.
So, put down those rice cakes and go make some chocolate chip cookies, and eat a huge honkin’ chunk of dough! I’m talking a big spoon…a few of them…Lord knows, when I make them…there shoulda been a few more cookies, if you know what I mean! Your man will love and embrace those extra handfuls of loveliness. (Literally! 😉)